Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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