We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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