Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
