You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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