I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
