i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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