I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
