but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
