his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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