Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
