he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Found the puke drawer
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
