Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize