worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
