I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
