Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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