My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
This girl is more easily done than said...
home. puking in laundry basket.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize