That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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