I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize