I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
