That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
