i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
