Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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