I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
the liver wants what the liver wants
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
