You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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