you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize