I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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