I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
