I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
