I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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