He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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