I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize