i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
