Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
