yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize