What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
