absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize