"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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