hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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