My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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