I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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