what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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