He is an equal opportunity slut.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
FUCK WHALES
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
