Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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