I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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