I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize