I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
