Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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