So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
How many fucks given?
0.12846
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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