I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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