We won't sleep together?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
