Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
