butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
