what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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