Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
