I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
