just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize