Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
