I bet he comes in French.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
