she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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