# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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