I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
