white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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