so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
