Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
