This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
