I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
