HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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